Tomorrow it will be one week. The last 6 days have been the hardest I have ever had to face in this life. Losing your mother is hard y’all. Losing the one person who knew you, REALLY knew you is even harder. Not so hard I give up, mind you. Because life has to keep movin’ along. But that grief? It dances on the edges of my heart, waiting to strike. A song on the radio, her okra & tomatoes waiting for me in the freezer (I may never eat them), the daily thought “I can’t wait to tell her this”. Ugh, some minutes, it feels like it’s doing an Irish River Dance, others it’s fine. Stupid grief.
Our relationship wasn’t always rainbows & sunshine, we had many disagreements over the years. But getting to know her as an adult was incredible. Time spent with her was always full of laughter (often at completely inappropriate things), good food, because that was “our thing” and hours upon hours of philosophical, theological, other worldly discussions.
She’s gone from this earth, that’s ok, she wasn’t super excited about growing old anyhow. I will still talk to her and ALWAYS love her.
I’m so glad we had an opportunity a few years back to take these pictures. This is how I want to remember my mother. Soulful eyes, a face lined with years, mind full of stories, heart full of love and pride for me.