Mom

Jul 5, 2016

 

Tomorrow it will be one week. The last 6 days have been the hardest I have ever had to face in this life. Losing your mother is hard y’all. Losing the one person who knew you, REALLY knew you is even harder. Not so hard I give up, mind you. Because life has to keep movin’ along.  But that grief? It dances on the edges of my heart, waiting to strike. A song on the radio, her okra & tomatoes waiting for me in the freezer (I may never eat them), the daily thought “I can’t wait to tell her this”.  Ugh, some minutes, it feels like it’s doing an Irish River Dance, others it’s fine. Stupid grief.

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Our relationship wasn’t always rainbows & sunshine, we had many disagreements over the years. But getting to know her as an adult was incredible. Time spent with her was always full of laughter (often at completely inappropriate things), good food, because that was “our thing” and hours upon hours of philosophical, theological, other worldly discussions.

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               She’s gone from this earth, that’s ok, she wasn’t super excited about growing old anyhow. I will still talk to her and ALWAYS love her. 2016-07-05_0003

I’m so glad we had an opportunity a few years back to take these pictures. This is how I want to remember my mother. Soulful eyes, a face lined with years, mind full of stories, heart full of love and pride for me.

  1. Deborah

    July 5th, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    I share in your thoughts and feelings, she was a great person on this earth and will be dearly missed, great food she prepared and great advice she gave. Her spirit will always be in my heart and thoughts. I too myself can understand what it is to not have your Mother to talk to whenever you want or enjoy that meal with. But she is not in pain now and will always be watching over all those she cared for and held so close to her.

  2. chillphotographyblog

    July 7th, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    Thanks so much Deb. I’m so sorry we know the same pain.

  3. Gary Roos

    July 6th, 2016 at 9:49 pm

    Losing a loved one is devastating, losing your first born child is unfathomable. Bet will never be forgotten, she will be with us always. Not a day goes by without a fond memory of my Elizabeth (Betsy) Anne. I miss her more than I thought possible. Life goes on, memories are here forever. Rest in Peace my darling daughter.

  4. chillphotographyblog

    July 6th, 2016 at 11:29 pm

    Sending hugs to you Grandpa.

  5. Ria

    July 7th, 2016 at 1:48 am

    Candice,

    This is beautiful…so beautiful! I am amazed at your strength and admire your wisdom and love the person you are…you are beautiful inside and out. Praying for you and your family.

  6. chillphotographyblog

    July 7th, 2016 at 2:22 pm

    Thank you Ria.

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